Felt is the past tense of feel

Creative work


Bell, Catherine Elizabeth. (2006). Felt is the past tense of feel
CreatorsBell, Catherine Elizabeth
Description

00:52:12 (Two videos: static footage and close up footage) 2006

People say you are so lucky you got the chance to see your Father before he died. Am I? I think this statement is supposed to make me feel better but I would have felt luckier if I saw him die quicker.

The stage becomes an arena for enacting the death of my father. This performance involves submerging the self into a liminal zone, like the theatre where it was performed; it is a space that allows the individual to perform a cathartic act or role play, before returning to quotidian life. There is no audience for this private ritual just the semi-circular glow that illuminates the performance captured on video. This light is representative of the family’s presence at my Father’s bedside. Huddling around him we became witnesses to a surreal and distressing disappearing act, the moment his life left his body.

Once the loved one passes, the haste and necessity of the funerary ritual focuses energy away from private grief to preparation of the public spectacle. Formal decisions must be made from announcements in the paper, to what my father would be buried in, to how many sandwiches must be catered for at the wake. This process is akin to producing an amateur theatrical event but the challenge for the family becomes the suppression of emotion in order to deliver this event with dignity and composure in the face of the congregation. This performance explores the idea of repressed emotion and why we are conditioned to “suck it up” and not wail it out. The methodical and controlled action of sucking the squid belies the hysterical skirmish traced on the stage. It is this psychological struggle that I wanted to capture, the tension between the mind replaying the traumatic scenario and the point at which we decide to resist or purge the emotion.

A formal suit of my father has been covered in pink felt, a material that Joseph Beuys used to signify healing, insulation and protection however this costume becomes the repository for the emotions I felt. The performance recreates the traumatic memories of my Father’s bodily deterioration, his legs seeping salty liquid, his body attached to plastic tubes that draped from him like tentacles, the nurses probing him with sharp suckers to relinquish phlegm from his throat, his tortured gasps for air, septic gurgling and laboured choking on his own bodily juices.

Violently sucking 40 squid to relinquish the hidden ink and spitting that ink onto the felt covered formal suit owned by my dead father constitutes an act of erasure. This erasure becomes my desperate wish for him to die without further suffering and humiliation. The forced enactment of the squid’s instinctual defence mechanism of squirting ink when vulnerable or threatened is a also metaphor for my desire to escape the sympathetic gaze of others or from my Father’s perspective, the devastated faces of his family.

- Catherine Bell

Date2006
Web address (URL)http://www.videoartchive.org.au/cbell/feel.html
Notes

4 weeks

Research GroupSchool of Arts
KeywordsLens-based Practice
Permalink -

https://acuresearchbank.acu.edu.au/item/8827x/felt-is-the-past-tense-of-feel

  • 186
    total views
  • 0
    total downloads
  • 8
    views this month
  • 0
    downloads this month
These values are for the period from 19th October 2020, when this repository was created.

Export as

Related outputs

Creative care : Modelling caring practices through artistic collaborations in neurodiverse and palliative-care contexts
Bell, Catherine. (2022). Creative care : Modelling caring practices through artistic collaborations in neurodiverse and palliative-care contexts. In In Millner, Jacqueline and Coombs, Gretchen (Ed.). Care ethics and art pp. 25-37 Routledge. https://doi.org/10.4324/9781003167556-4
The artist and the mermaid
Bell, Catherine and Staughton, Cathy. (2021). The artist and the mermaid Abbotsford, VIC:
Funerary artefacts, cemetery souvenirs and final resting places
Bell, Catherine. (2020). Funerary artefacts, cemetery souvenirs and final resting places. European Journal of Life Writing. 9, pp. 34-49. https://doi.org/10.21827/ejlw.9.36915
Final resting place
Bell, Catherine. (2020). Final resting place La Trobe Art Institute, La Trobe University, Bendigo, Victoria:
FEM-aFFINITY
Bell, Catherine. (2019). FEM-aFFINITY [Exhibition]. Arts Project Australia, Victoria, Australia 15 Jun - 20 Jul 2019
Daphne's fountain #1; Daphne's fountain #2; Daphne's fountain #3
Bell, Catherine. (2019). Daphne's fountain #1; Daphne's fountain #2; Daphne's fountain #3 Museum of Brisbane, Brisbane, Queensland:
Crematorium vessels trilogy
Bell, Catherine. (2019). Crematorium vessels trilogy Shepparton Art Museum, Shepparton, Victoria :
Death relics and reflections : Engaging palliative staff to respond creatively to death experiences in hospice settings
Bell, Catherine. (2019). Death relics and reflections : Engaging palliative staff to respond creatively to death experiences in hospice settings. Mortality. 26(3), pp. 241-263. https://doi.org/10.1080/13576275.2020.1776238
The artists
Staughton, Cathy and Bell, Catherine. (2018). The artists Melbourne, VIC:
Bringing Daphne back: Archival research as artistic collaboration
Bell, Catherine. (2017). Bringing Daphne back: Archival research as artistic collaboration. In In J. C. Ashton (Ed.). Feminism and museums: Intervention, disruption and change pp. 437 - 451 MuseumsEtc Ltd..
"Odour patris tu" (my father's smell)
Bell, Catherine. (2017). "Odour patris tu" (my father's smell).
The Seafairer sex
Bell, Catherine. (2017). The Seafairer sex
We die as we live
Bell, Catherine. (2017). We die as we live Australia: St Vincent's Private Hosptial.
1. Mother and Son, 2. Here Lies My Beloved Babies, 3. Model Son
Bell, Catherine. (2016). 1. Mother and Son, 2. Here Lies My Beloved Babies, 3. Model Son [Exhibition].
Splashback
Bell, Catherine. (2015). Splashback Melbourne, Australia: Melbourne Water; Wyndham City.
The Adoration
Bell, Catherine. (2015). The Adoration McGlade Gallery, Strathfield, Sydney: Australian Catholic University.
Artist as undertaker : Flower Tower and community art at Caritas Christi Hospice, Melbourne
Bell, Catherine. (2015). Artist as undertaker : Flower Tower and community art at Caritas Christi Hospice, Melbourne. Australian and New Zealand Journal of Art Therapy. 10(1), pp. 43 - 55.
The September Issue (People Magazine, September 13, 1995)
Bell, Catherine. (2015). The September Issue (People Magazine, September 13, 1995) Sydney, NSW: Cross Art Books Gallery.
Retro Refill
Bell, Catherine. (2015). Retro Refill Wyndham, Melbourne: Wyndham Art Gallery.
Talc Fall (Video) Talc Sculptures (Johnson's Baby Powder & Cussons Imperial Leather)
Bell, Catherine. (2015). Talc Fall (Video) Talc Sculptures (Johnson's Baby Powder & Cussons Imperial Leather) Hobart, Tasmania: Plimsoll Gallery, University of Tasmania.
My Furry Valentine
Bell, Catherine. (2015). My Furry Valentine Adelaide, South Australia: Australian Experimental Art Foundation.
The Arts Avenger
Bell, Catherine. (2015). The Arts Avenger Sydney, NSW: Cross Arts Books Gallery.
Mamma's Boy
Bell, Catherine. (2014). Mamma's Boy Australia: Arts Project Australia.
The remains of the day
Bell, Catherine. (2014). The remains of the day Melbourne, Australia: Sutton Gallery.
Add water when dry: Resurrecting bouquets as corporeal relics, melancholic rituals and community engagement at Caritas Christi Palliative Care Hospice
Bell, Catherine. (2014). Add water when dry: Resurrecting bouquets as corporeal relics, melancholic rituals and community engagement at Caritas Christi Palliative Care Hospice. In In L. McLean, L. Stafford and M. Weeks (Ed.). Exploring bodies in time and space pp. 226 - 235 Inter-Disciplinary Press.
Street Strollers of New York
Bell, Catherine. (2014). Street Strollers of New York Wheelers Hill, Victoria: Monash Gallery of Art.
Cathy Staughton: A Walk on the Wild Side
Bell, Catherine. (2013). Cathy Staughton: A Walk on the Wild Side Northcote, Victoria: Arts Project Australia.
The Gathering (The Exhibition)
Bell, Catherine. (2013). The Gathering (The Exhibition) Brunswick, Victoria: Impact Digital.
Gorilla Girl (homage to the Guerrilla Girls)
Bell, Catherine Elizabeth. (2013). Gorilla Girl (homage to the Guerrilla Girls)
This little piggy...fades to pink
Bell, Catherine. (2013). This little piggy...fades to pink
Mountains of Mourne (M.O.M) Rest in Peace (R.I.P) Second Incarnation
Bell, Catherine Elizabeth. (2013). Mountains of Mourne (M.O.M) Rest in Peace (R.I.P) Second Incarnation
Caritas Christi bouquet above and below
Bell, Catherine Elizabeth. (2012). Caritas Christi bouquet above and below
Waste not want not
Bell, Catherine Elizabeth. (2011). Waste not want not
Live and Let Die
Bell, Catherine. (2011). Live and Let Die
Nanny safari
Bell, Catherine Elizabeth. (2011). Nanny safari
Cooking up crimes and maternal misdemeanours: From food ritual to transgressive performances
Bell, Catherine Elizabeth. (2011). Cooking up crimes and maternal misdemeanours: From food ritual to transgressive performances. Double Dialogues.
What's yours is mine
Bell, Catherine Elizabeth and Duffy, Jan. (2011). What's yours is mine
Mum's the word
Bell, Catherine. (2011). Mum's the word
The agony and the ecstasy 2010
Bell, Catherine Elizabeth. (2010). The agony and the ecstasy 2010
The agony and the ecstasy 2010
Bell, Catherine Elizabeth. (2010). The agony and the ecstasy 2010
Trouble set me free
Bell, Catherine, University of Melbourne, and University of Melbourne. (2010). Trouble set me free Southbank, Victoria: Margaret Lawrence Gallery.
Apple of my Eye 2010
Bell, Catherine. (2010). Apple of my Eye 2010
Exit Stage Left
Bell, Catherine. (2009). Exit Stage Left
Gorilla Girl
Bell, Catherine Elizabeth. (2009). Gorilla Girl
Gorilla girl
Bell, Catherine Elizabeth. (2009). Gorilla girl
I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your house down
Bell, Catherine. (2009). I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your house down
Womanfolk: Songs from the valley below
Bell, Catherine Elizabeth and McDonald, Martha. (2008). Womanfolk: Songs from the valley below
Are you a man or a mouse mat?
Bell, Catherine Elizabeth. (2007). Are you a man or a mouse mat
Are you a man or a mouse mat?
Bell, Catherine Elizabeth. (2007). Are you a man or a mouse mat
Soap, slip, slash
Bell, Catherine Elizabeth. (2006). Soap, slip, slash
Home sweet home
Bell, Catherine. (2006). Home sweet home
Soap, slip, slash
Bell, Catherine Elizabeth. (2006). Soap, slip, slash
Felt is the past tense of feel
Bell, Catherine Elizabeth. (2006). Felt is the past tense of feel
Rain Cheque :D
Bell, Catherine. (2005). Rain Cheque :D
Special Delivery
Bell, Catherine. (2005). Special Delivery [Performance].
This little piggy ... fades to pink
Bell, Catherine. (2004). This little piggy ... fades to pink [Performance].
Hooked
Bell, Catherine Elizabeth. (2003). Hooked
Hooked
Bell, Catherine Elizabeth. (2003). Hooked