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Attachment security as a foundation for kindness toward self and others
Shaver, Phillip R. Mikulincer, Mario Sahdra, Baljinder Kaur Gross, Jacquelyn T.
Shaver, Phillip R.
Mikulincer, Mario
Sahdra, Baljinder Kaur
Gross, Jacquelyn T.
Abstract
Based on attachment theory and decades of research on attachment processes and relationships, this chapter shows that attachment security, experienced in relationships with sensitive and responsive parents and partners across the life span, fosters positive attitudes toward both self and others, and also provides a foundation for desirable psychological states discussed in the Buddhist literature: mindfulness, self-compassion, and nonattachment. We review research involving children, adolescents, and adults showing that the major forms of attachment insecurity—anxiety and avoidance—interfere with healthy self-approval and self-acceptance, and also with kindness and generosity toward others. Self-acceptance and self-compassion are not “egoistic” in the negative sense; far from being psychologically and socially destructive, they are foundations of openness and kindness toward others. The usual origin of attachment-related security is supportive relationships in childhood, but security can also be increased by later relationships and by laboratory and clinical interventions.
Keywords
attachment, attachment theory, attachment anxiety, attachment-related avoidance, self-compassion, compassion, altruism, mindfulness, nonattachment
Date
2016
Type
Book chapter
Journal
Book
The Oxford Handbook of Hypo-egoic Phenomena
Volume
Issue
Page Range
1-32
Article Number
ACU Department
Institute for Positive Psychology and Education
Faculty of Education and Arts
Faculty of Education and Arts
Relation URI
Source URL
Event URL
Open Access Status
License
File Access
Controlled