Transforming Shame : Strategies in Spirituality and Prayer

This chapter draws on two sources, first, the religious/theological and, second, psychology. Building on an inclusive approach to spirituality, our discussion’s context is the christian tradition. Understanding prayer as a personal relationship, we explain the role of emotional transparency (with special reference to shame) needed for a life-giving spiritual relationship with a divine Other (and with oneself and others). Again, psychology offers significant points of convergence with spirituality and prayer. Shame’s transformative potential can be viewed in the light of socio-phenomenological theory with its focus on the meaning people attach to events and their impact on a person’s life. On these foundations, we offer specific practices, biblical texts and strategies in prayer to explore meaning in shame-laden events in two life-contexts. Greater transparency brings insight, greater acceptance (of oneself, by others and by God), an acknowledged vulnerability and growing empathy for others. Painful shame, then, when named, accepted and shared (in prayer and inter-personally), can become life-giving at the human and spiritual levels and offer deeper meaning—in increased self-awareness, self-transcendence and love.

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